Imagine being a kid near Christmas time. You asked for a PS3. You're 10 years old, and you are excited for the opportunity to run over prostitutes and explode the heads of terrorists. Tempted by an unbridled curiosity, you snoop around your house, high and low, from nook to cranny, looking for a stash of presents.
Lo and behold, tucked underneath a pile of blankets in the attic is a PS3 box. Hurray! Just what you wanted! You didn't even really expect to get a PS3, but there it is, plain as day! You wait for two weeks that feel like two years until finally, Christmas morning, you open your PS3! Hurray, again! You waited patiently for a present you knew was coming and now you get to play!!!
Only it doesn't work. And your parents lost the receipt. Every couple of days it comes on for a half hour and you get to murder a pedestrian, but then it shuts off, doesn't save, and for some reason, smells like dried cat turds.
This is the best way for me to describe the Brady Quinn era thus far. Unmatched enthusiasm, little fun, huge let down, nonrefundable.
The question is, will it stay this way? Like an episode of Glee, there is little reason to think it will get any better, but it is important to remember Quinn is only nine starts into his NFL career. It feels like he's been on the team since Charlie Frye was the QB (because he has been), but he's only started what amounts to half of one season. And three of those starts came under a completely different regime. And he's never entered into a season knowing he was going to be the starting QB, worked with decent receivers an entire offseason, or been within a competent offensive system for an extended period of time. Not exactly a recipe for success. But let's take all of those variables from the equation and compare cold hard stats of various QBs in their first nine games with Quinn and see if there is any reason to believe.
I chose most of today's great QBs, some of the good QBs, and some of the most recent—including, in my opinion, the worst starting QB the last two years. I've bolded the worst numbers. The best numbers are in red. The number(s) in parentheses is(are) the season(s) in which these starts came.
PLAYER............... COMP %...YDS....TDs....INTs...RATING
Quinn (2-3)...............53%.......1,430.... ..7........7........66.3
Manning, P (1)...........55%......2,013......12......18.......74
Brady, T (2)...............66% .....1,823..... 16 ......7....... 95
Roethlisberger, B (1)..61%.......1,412.......10......4........90
Brees, D (2)................62%.......1,663......10.....10........80
Manning, E (1-2).......48%......1,380......9......11........69
Rivers, P (3)...............66%.......2,085....13.......3.....102
Orton, K (1)................55%.......1,253......7......10......65
Rodgers, A (4)............63%.......2,124.....13......5........93
Cutler, J (1-2).............63%.......1,927......13.....10.......83
Ryan, M (1).................61%.......1,909......11.....5........99
Russell, J (1-2)...........47%.....1,662.......8......8.........66
AVERAGES...............58%........1,750......11......8.........82
Do these numbers tell us anything? Well, unfortunately, I think Quinn's numbers look the worst for a few reasons. His numbers are low in every category—lower than the average of this unscientific sample—despite avoiding the difficult task of starting his first year. You'll note Rivers and Rodgers have some of the best numbers after waiting a few seasons on the bench. The worst indictment—his numbers aren't too different from JaMarcus Russell, whom we all know is a pathetic lump behind center.
However, these numbers also show several of today's QBs got off to rocky starts. And, knowing where some of these careers go (Brees was considered so bad the Chargers drafted Rivers, Manning becomes a Hall of Famer, Cutler is a bum, Orton is all of a sudden efficient), this small, early sample is obviously an incomplete picture of where one's career will end up.
Then again, in some examples, it is dead on. (JaMarcus Russell)
After part 1 of this QB assessment—after looking at the numbers and thinking about all that could be contributing to Quinn's sad stats in his young career—the prognosis is incomplete but not looking good.
Let's see where part 2 takes us.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Ideas for the Browns vs Lions
Some ideas for the Browns in their big game vs the Lions:
• Take advantage of a fellow 1-8 team by scoring a touchdown, preferably with a WR or a RB, which hasn't been done all year.
• Ask the Lions if they have any other players like Shaun Rogers they'd like to trade us before the game starts.
• Play Bernie Kosar at QB and Jim Brown at RB.
• At halftime, ask Lions if they will "go halvesies on a tie."
• Seriously, even if every lineman has to hold or Quinn has to throw several illegal chop blocks that get the play called back, just cross the goal line and see how it feels.
• Switch uniforms with the Lions before the game and see if anyone notices.
• Get wasted. That's how I get through the games, might help you too.
• In the event of a Browns win, the team should jubilantly carry Mangini off the field on its shoulders ... and then keep carrying him out of the stadium, to an overpass and throw over the fence into oncoming traffic.
• In the event of a Browns loss, see previous bullet point.
• After the game, conduct a ceremony at midfield where the Lions owner symbolically hands over control the 2010 No. 1 pick. This could be done in a variety of ways, but I think I'd go with the Lions owner pooping directly into Lerner's mouth.
• Screw Michigan, Go Bucks!
• Seal the stadium up and fill it with a toxic gas so everybody dies. Then every Sunday thereafter, Browns and Lions fans would celebrate the day their misery ended.
Enjoy the game, everybody!
• Take advantage of a fellow 1-8 team by scoring a touchdown, preferably with a WR or a RB, which hasn't been done all year.
• Ask the Lions if they have any other players like Shaun Rogers they'd like to trade us before the game starts.
• Play Bernie Kosar at QB and Jim Brown at RB.
• At halftime, ask Lions if they will "go halvesies on a tie."
• Seriously, even if every lineman has to hold or Quinn has to throw several illegal chop blocks that get the play called back, just cross the goal line and see how it feels.
• Switch uniforms with the Lions before the game and see if anyone notices.
• Get wasted. That's how I get through the games, might help you too.
• In the event of a Browns win, the team should jubilantly carry Mangini off the field on its shoulders ... and then keep carrying him out of the stadium, to an overpass and throw over the fence into oncoming traffic.
• In the event of a Browns loss, see previous bullet point.
• After the game, conduct a ceremony at midfield where the Lions owner symbolically hands over control the 2010 No. 1 pick. This could be done in a variety of ways, but I think I'd go with the Lions owner pooping directly into Lerner's mouth.
• Screw Michigan, Go Bucks!
• Seal the stadium up and fill it with a toxic gas so everybody dies. Then every Sunday thereafter, Browns and Lions fans would celebrate the day their misery ended.
Enjoy the game, everybody!
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Beating Michigan makes a man believe
Mr. Tressel is 8-1 vs Michigan. And if Maurice Clarret hadn't ruined the 2003 season, he could very well be undefeated. Regardless, Ohio State fans, whether they want to realize it or not, are experiencing a truly special period in the history of their football team.
I know that after the Purdue loss this year I was unhappy. Partly due to the entitlement I now have for the Big Ten title, and partly due to how bad the team played that day, I reacted irrationally to that loss. I threw Pryor under the bus; I openly questioned the leadership of Mr. Tressel. The anger at Tressel slowly boiled after each big game loss the last few years and especially after the USC game this year. Losing to a downtrodden Purdue made me snap.
But since then, the team improved. Well, not on defense, where the team has excelled all year, but rather on offense where the team greatly improved in two key areas: running the ball, protecting the ball.
Both of those improvements undoubtedly arouse Mr. Tressel. And if the Buckeyes can do these things, and combine them with a stout defense, that's a recipe for success, as evidenced by the entire Tressel era. And as I sit here in the wake of the sixth consecutive victory over Michigan, I realize I was being petty and short-sighted after the Purdue loss. I was like a girl crying on "My Super Sweet Sixteen" when her fleet of ponies is late to her yacht party. Spoiled.
But I've settled down (winning has that effect) and I think I'm seeing things clearly. Mr. Tressel has a plan and this team will be headed for big things if it just stays on this path, and much of it has to do with Pryor—he's the key to finding real separation from the college football world. It's not much of a limb to go out on saying Pryor's development will determine OSU's success, but it's true nonetheless. I've been mad at him, you've been mad at him, but we need him because the Tressel formula has proven successful in the Big Ten but not so outside the Big Ten.
All of the "move him to wide receiver" talk after the Purdue loss was misguided. He's only a sophomore, and he's shown improvement in a year where we were young at several key positions and not likely to win a national title. Where is the improvement, you ask? In one of the key areas mentioned before—he's not turning the ball over. And as annoying as it may be for those that hate the conservative OSU ways, that's all he has to do when we are running the ball effectively and playing stifling defense. Pryor adds an extra dimension, and as long as he does the little things and protects the ball while implementing his x-factor capabilities, not many teams will beat us.
Now think about the national competition next year. No Tebow. No McCoy. No Bradford. The power is going to shift, and because of the solid fundamentals of this year, mixed in with the dash of flavor Pryor provides at the QB position, OSU is poised to be in the Top 3. No question. Only Alabama and USC stand in the way of a preseason No.1.
2010: Another year older, another year to gel, another offseason to improve on a year where we won the Big Ten and went the Rose Bowl. And a year where the other national powers lose their leaders.
I know we still have the Rose Bowl this year, and I believe we NEED this victory in Pasadena, but at the moment, I want to express the pride I feel watching this team come together after everyone, including their ardent supporters, hung them out to dry. I'm sorry for my insubordination after the Purdue loss, Mr. Tressel. You know what you are doing; we need Pryor to win a national title; 2010 is going to be a year of high expectations; but most importantly, Michigan is our bitch.
I know that after the Purdue loss this year I was unhappy. Partly due to the entitlement I now have for the Big Ten title, and partly due to how bad the team played that day, I reacted irrationally to that loss. I threw Pryor under the bus; I openly questioned the leadership of Mr. Tressel. The anger at Tressel slowly boiled after each big game loss the last few years and especially after the USC game this year. Losing to a downtrodden Purdue made me snap.
But since then, the team improved. Well, not on defense, where the team has excelled all year, but rather on offense where the team greatly improved in two key areas: running the ball, protecting the ball.
Both of those improvements undoubtedly arouse Mr. Tressel. And if the Buckeyes can do these things, and combine them with a stout defense, that's a recipe for success, as evidenced by the entire Tressel era. And as I sit here in the wake of the sixth consecutive victory over Michigan, I realize I was being petty and short-sighted after the Purdue loss. I was like a girl crying on "My Super Sweet Sixteen" when her fleet of ponies is late to her yacht party. Spoiled.
But I've settled down (winning has that effect) and I think I'm seeing things clearly. Mr. Tressel has a plan and this team will be headed for big things if it just stays on this path, and much of it has to do with Pryor—he's the key to finding real separation from the college football world. It's not much of a limb to go out on saying Pryor's development will determine OSU's success, but it's true nonetheless. I've been mad at him, you've been mad at him, but we need him because the Tressel formula has proven successful in the Big Ten but not so outside the Big Ten.
All of the "move him to wide receiver" talk after the Purdue loss was misguided. He's only a sophomore, and he's shown improvement in a year where we were young at several key positions and not likely to win a national title. Where is the improvement, you ask? In one of the key areas mentioned before—he's not turning the ball over. And as annoying as it may be for those that hate the conservative OSU ways, that's all he has to do when we are running the ball effectively and playing stifling defense. Pryor adds an extra dimension, and as long as he does the little things and protects the ball while implementing his x-factor capabilities, not many teams will beat us.
Now think about the national competition next year. No Tebow. No McCoy. No Bradford. The power is going to shift, and because of the solid fundamentals of this year, mixed in with the dash of flavor Pryor provides at the QB position, OSU is poised to be in the Top 3. No question. Only Alabama and USC stand in the way of a preseason No.1.
2010: Another year older, another year to gel, another offseason to improve on a year where we won the Big Ten and went the Rose Bowl. And a year where the other national powers lose their leaders.
I know we still have the Rose Bowl this year, and I believe we NEED this victory in Pasadena, but at the moment, I want to express the pride I feel watching this team come together after everyone, including their ardent supporters, hung them out to dry. I'm sorry for my insubordination after the Purdue loss, Mr. Tressel. You know what you are doing; we need Pryor to win a national title; 2010 is going to be a year of high expectations; but most importantly, Michigan is our bitch.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
First Kosar, then Alomar ... bring everyone back!
On the heels of Bernie Kosar being brought back into the mix in some made-up way with the Browns, new Indians manager Manny Acta seems to be entertaining the idea of adding Sandy Alomar to his coaching staff (based on pure speculation from Paul Hoynes, but for the purposes of this post, just go with it).
I have no idea if either of these hires will pan out. Kosar may get hopped up on Oxycontin and trade Joe Thomas to the Saskatchewan Rough Riders for all I know. But it doesn't matter because both of these hires are awesome. I'd also like to request Mark Price and Brad Daugherty being brought back to coach the Cavs. And I truly believe Acta shouldn't stop with Sandy and reach out to Orel Hershiser and Carlos Baerga in some capacity too. Hell, scrape together some bail money and let's go get Albert Belle.
You see, here in Cleveland, we don't win championships. Our teams usually have losing seasons, and if they do have a winning season, they find some way to tragically fail, which ends up turning the winning experience bitter. So why keep doing it? Why even follow in the first place?
One big reason is tradition. Our sports teams are embedded into our cultural and personal identities. Year in and year out, from one season to the next, we cheer, root, bitch, moan, get jacked up for no reason and then start bitching again. Because of this, the players that wear our city's name become intertwined into these traditions and this personal identity—for better or worse. We take it personal when players like Jim Thome or Carlos Boozer leave for more money, and we adore long-hated rival players like Jamal Lewis when they stupidly come here. Along the way, some players transcend the laundry they wear. Jim Brown, Bob Feller, Austin Carr. They cease to be people or athletes and become symbols of our past. If you want to get real deep, you could say they embody part of personality—that Cleveland-tradition-loving part of us.
Bernie and Sandy are two of those guys. In my mind, they represent our city and our collective sports history for a particular place and time. So when they get hired back, however minimal the role and however terrible they may end up being, they are back! For good or bad, they are one of us. They are a part of that tradition.
Our teams will lose and they will not win championships. So, knowing that, let's lose with the one's we love—the one's that represent who we are as a city.
A city full of losers!
(Wait...on second thought...)
I have no idea if either of these hires will pan out. Kosar may get hopped up on Oxycontin and trade Joe Thomas to the Saskatchewan Rough Riders for all I know. But it doesn't matter because both of these hires are awesome. I'd also like to request Mark Price and Brad Daugherty being brought back to coach the Cavs. And I truly believe Acta shouldn't stop with Sandy and reach out to Orel Hershiser and Carlos Baerga in some capacity too. Hell, scrape together some bail money and let's go get Albert Belle.
You see, here in Cleveland, we don't win championships. Our teams usually have losing seasons, and if they do have a winning season, they find some way to tragically fail, which ends up turning the winning experience bitter. So why keep doing it? Why even follow in the first place?
One big reason is tradition. Our sports teams are embedded into our cultural and personal identities. Year in and year out, from one season to the next, we cheer, root, bitch, moan, get jacked up for no reason and then start bitching again. Because of this, the players that wear our city's name become intertwined into these traditions and this personal identity—for better or worse. We take it personal when players like Jim Thome or Carlos Boozer leave for more money, and we adore long-hated rival players like Jamal Lewis when they stupidly come here. Along the way, some players transcend the laundry they wear. Jim Brown, Bob Feller, Austin Carr. They cease to be people or athletes and become symbols of our past. If you want to get real deep, you could say they embody part of personality—that Cleveland-tradition-loving part of us.
Bernie and Sandy are two of those guys. In my mind, they represent our city and our collective sports history for a particular place and time. So when they get hired back, however minimal the role and however terrible they may end up being, they are back! For good or bad, they are one of us. They are a part of that tradition.
Our teams will lose and they will not win championships. So, knowing that, let's lose with the one's we love—the one's that represent who we are as a city.
A city full of losers!
(Wait...on second thought...)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
List of candidates to replace George Kokinis
George Kokinis sure has some big shoes to fill, but I think I've devised a list of general manager replacements that are just as good as, if not better than the legendary Kokinis:
(Ranked in order from adequate replacement to sure-fire fix)
A bucket of mud
Qualifications: Sits there; says nothing.
Sideways move. If you like what Kokinis brought to the table, but you want just a little more personality, a bucket of mud is your choice.
Pat Sajack
Qualifications: Hosts Wheel of Fortune.
I'm looking for stability with our next GM hire. Who provides stability more than Pat Sajack? Bob Barker has retired for good. Dick Clark's face reminds me too much of the Browns' offense. Alex Trebek is too stiff. Regis Philbin? I can't trust Notre Dame people. Sajack has been hosting the Wheel for ages, is extremely personable and adapts to all sorts of new gimmicks. Definite upgrade.
Mel Kiper Jr.
Qualifications: NFL Draft guru.
Why not? Let's give the most knowledgeable football-talent analyst on the planet a shot at building a team and picking players. He can't be much worse than the dart board all previous regimes have used.
Me
Qualifications: Watches sports on TV; owns several bocce trophies
Seriously, how f***ing hard could this be? Watch college football, pick the best players available, hire people who aren't half-retarded. Done. I'm good for at least 2 more wins than Kokinis. Easy.
Bill Cowher
Qualifications: Coached the Steelers; played for the Browns; can understand Shannon Sharpe
Growing up, I wanted to punch this man in his face more than anyone. And I'm conflicted as to how much I really want to root for this guy, but if he came to Cleveland in a Bill Parcells-in-Miami type of role and put a stamp on this team—any stamp at all—I would probably be on board. I begrudgingly accepted Kellen Winslow Jr., Braylon Edwards and Jamal Lewis into my life (and look how well all of them worked out!) so, I would find room in my heart for the Chin. It would be like that prodigal son parable.
Bernie Kosar
Qualifications: Once played football for the Browns; hand-picked the quarterback for the Cleveland Gladiators.
Bernie knows football. Do you really need to work up through the ranks to watch film and judge football players? I know there are other tasks a GM must do, like work out contracts and other such details, but it doesn't matter. Bernie's presence calms me down. We've been cursed since Belichick got rid of him, maybe hiring him back in a prominent role would end it.
LeBron James
Qualifications: Best basketball player on the planet; savior of the world.
If anyone knows how to resurrect a dead, depressing sports franchise, it is LeBron James. Also, it gives him yet another reason to stay in Cleveland.
(Ranked in order from adequate replacement to sure-fire fix)
A bucket of mud
Qualifications: Sits there; says nothing.
Sideways move. If you like what Kokinis brought to the table, but you want just a little more personality, a bucket of mud is your choice.
Pat Sajack
Qualifications: Hosts Wheel of Fortune.
I'm looking for stability with our next GM hire. Who provides stability more than Pat Sajack? Bob Barker has retired for good. Dick Clark's face reminds me too much of the Browns' offense. Alex Trebek is too stiff. Regis Philbin? I can't trust Notre Dame people. Sajack has been hosting the Wheel for ages, is extremely personable and adapts to all sorts of new gimmicks. Definite upgrade.
Mel Kiper Jr.
Qualifications: NFL Draft guru.
Why not? Let's give the most knowledgeable football-talent analyst on the planet a shot at building a team and picking players. He can't be much worse than the dart board all previous regimes have used.
Me
Qualifications: Watches sports on TV; owns several bocce trophies
Seriously, how f***ing hard could this be? Watch college football, pick the best players available, hire people who aren't half-retarded. Done. I'm good for at least 2 more wins than Kokinis. Easy.
Bill Cowher
Qualifications: Coached the Steelers; played for the Browns; can understand Shannon Sharpe
Growing up, I wanted to punch this man in his face more than anyone. And I'm conflicted as to how much I really want to root for this guy, but if he came to Cleveland in a Bill Parcells-in-Miami type of role and put a stamp on this team—any stamp at all—I would probably be on board. I begrudgingly accepted Kellen Winslow Jr., Braylon Edwards and Jamal Lewis into my life (and look how well all of them worked out!) so, I would find room in my heart for the Chin. It would be like that prodigal son parable.
Bernie Kosar
Qualifications: Once played football for the Browns; hand-picked the quarterback for the Cleveland Gladiators.
Bernie knows football. Do you really need to work up through the ranks to watch film and judge football players? I know there are other tasks a GM must do, like work out contracts and other such details, but it doesn't matter. Bernie's presence calms me down. We've been cursed since Belichick got rid of him, maybe hiring him back in a prominent role would end it.
LeBron James
Qualifications: Best basketball player on the planet; savior of the world.
If anyone knows how to resurrect a dead, depressing sports franchise, it is LeBron James. Also, it gives him yet another reason to stay in Cleveland.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
One-step solution for fixing the Browns
I opened my Internet browser thinking, "I'm going to write about the Browns." The Browns fed me another turd sandwich today, and it's topical, so it makes sense to write about it. But I sat here for about five minutes just thinking of an angle. I wanted to pick on someone or something. I wanted to write an opinion on what needs to be done to fix this mess or something that looks positive. Here's the only angle I could come up with:
If you're a Browns fan, kill yourself.
That's all I've got. I watched the game, and I formed a hateful opinion of pretty much anyone on our sideline. I listened to talk radio and heard all of the various gripes. The Browns problems are this. The Browns problems are that.
What everyone needs to fully realize is there's no objective way to measure the failures of this team or how to correct them. And that is the most depressing realization of them all.
For example, why did the Indians have a losing season? Well, the bullpen wasn't good. Important players regressed or got hurt. And the economic inequities in baseball prevented certain baseball decisions.
You can point to specific areas. Improve the bullpen, replace Fausto and Jhonny or get them on track, and suddenly the team is improved.
Maybe that's only my perspective, or too simplistic an explanation. But the Indians have places to hang your hat. They have a lot of good position players, and they have a shrewd front office. The front office might misfire here or there, but they have a plan that they back up with reason and logic.
With the Browns, everyone has a different angry perspective. Are you the guy that says it's the quarterbacks? The lack of offensive personnel around them? Are you the guy that blames the porous defense that never seems to go away? Are you the guy that blames the coordinators for the awful gameplans and execution? Are you the guy that blames Eric Mangini? These are his guys, his plan and he needs to be fired for making a terrible team even worse? Are you the guy that blames Randy Lerner for consistently hiring the wrong guys?
Here's my point: That's a lot of guys. Those are a lot of failures. And all of them could be valid. None of them can be refuted, not with any real evidence.
I wish this was a science experiment in a lab. That way, we could change out different variables to see how it affected the whole. One week we drop in a new QB. Then next week we leave in that QB and add in different receivers. The week after we leave the receivers and change the QB again. The week after we go back to the Week 2 offense and try a new offensive scheme. And so on and so on. Pretty soon, after all the mixing and matching, we'd have concrete answers for what's truly detrimental to the team are and how these problems need to be fixed.
Unfortunately, even this ideal scientific solution to the problem would take roughly 673 weeks before it had an answer and a way to implement it.
In real life, we're just walking into a dark bathroom and pissing everywhere until we hear water. Blind stabs. Confusion. One big mess.
Some problems may be the root of the bigger problem and some could be the result of the other problems. But we don't know; we can't know; and we all need to realize this and kill ourselves.
It's the only sure way out of this mess.
If you're a Browns fan, kill yourself.
That's all I've got. I watched the game, and I formed a hateful opinion of pretty much anyone on our sideline. I listened to talk radio and heard all of the various gripes. The Browns problems are this. The Browns problems are that.
What everyone needs to fully realize is there's no objective way to measure the failures of this team or how to correct them. And that is the most depressing realization of them all.
For example, why did the Indians have a losing season? Well, the bullpen wasn't good. Important players regressed or got hurt. And the economic inequities in baseball prevented certain baseball decisions.
You can point to specific areas. Improve the bullpen, replace Fausto and Jhonny or get them on track, and suddenly the team is improved.
Maybe that's only my perspective, or too simplistic an explanation. But the Indians have places to hang your hat. They have a lot of good position players, and they have a shrewd front office. The front office might misfire here or there, but they have a plan that they back up with reason and logic.
With the Browns, everyone has a different angry perspective. Are you the guy that says it's the quarterbacks? The lack of offensive personnel around them? Are you the guy that blames the porous defense that never seems to go away? Are you the guy that blames the coordinators for the awful gameplans and execution? Are you the guy that blames Eric Mangini? These are his guys, his plan and he needs to be fired for making a terrible team even worse? Are you the guy that blames Randy Lerner for consistently hiring the wrong guys?
Here's my point: That's a lot of guys. Those are a lot of failures. And all of them could be valid. None of them can be refuted, not with any real evidence.
I wish this was a science experiment in a lab. That way, we could change out different variables to see how it affected the whole. One week we drop in a new QB. Then next week we leave in that QB and add in different receivers. The week after we leave the receivers and change the QB again. The week after we go back to the Week 2 offense and try a new offensive scheme. And so on and so on. Pretty soon, after all the mixing and matching, we'd have concrete answers for what's truly detrimental to the team are and how these problems need to be fixed.
Unfortunately, even this ideal scientific solution to the problem would take roughly 673 weeks before it had an answer and a way to implement it.
In real life, we're just walking into a dark bathroom and pissing everywhere until we hear water. Blind stabs. Confusion. One big mess.
Some problems may be the root of the bigger problem and some could be the result of the other problems. But we don't know; we can't know; and we all need to realize this and kill ourselves.
It's the only sure way out of this mess.
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