Game 6

Game 5 felt like a funeral. It felt like something died in the Q. I'm not sure what died—Game 5, LeBron's career, his career in Cleveland, the Cavs organization, the Cleveland sports scene, the entire city of Cleveland, or just this series against Boston—but something definitely died. It reminded me of the Buckeyes' 2006 National Championship game—before now, the most depressing full game I've ever seen that required a eulogy at its conclusion.

And it depressed me. I felt jarred. I felt like so much ended in those 48 minutes. I actually considered trying not to care as much about sports as a result. What's the point? All I wanted was to just one time witness a championship in Cleveland, and if LeBron can't deliver it, I need to just give up. I hear this American Idol show is pretty consuming. Maybe I'll try that.

I'm not ruling that out, but I've toned the rhetoric down a little bit. I still think the sky is falling, but I'm not going to let that dampen my spirits. The point of watching and caring about this dumb stuff was never really about the championships—afterall, never won one—it's just about the watching and caring itself. My mom helped remind me of this on the phone today.

Me: I really think I'm going to distance myself from this stuff. I mean, that was just terrible.
Mom: Yea, so? That's what happens here. You know that.
Me: ..... Yea, but....

Doesn't matter what I said next. This woman who hardly ever watches one of these damn games was completely right. She knows. She's lived here her whole life in a family of sports fans, wanting these teams to win. We just don't. Why is this different? We get excited and get let down. But we watch. That's just what we do. I'm not letting one crappy, disinterested game dampen the passion I have for my crappy teams.

And just within the last hour, I've decided I'm not going to let that crappy, disinterested game make me walk into Game 6 as a LeBron hater. I kind of wanted to for most of the day. His passive play just made me too mad, sad, depressed and fearful. But it was, admittedly, a little unfair. My true hatred for his play, I think, rested in the whole "LEBRON MIGHT NOT BE HERE NEXT YEAR!! WE HAVE TO WIN NOW!!!" The possibility of LeBron leaving heightened the importance of everything, probably too much.

But I'm turning that around. The "LEBRON MIGHT NOT BE HERE NEXT YEAR!!" means that Game 6 really, honestly might be the very last time we all root for LeBron James. I know Game 5 felt that way, but Game 6 really might be, for real. Think about that. The last seven years of my life were devoted to every step LeBron has taken, and Game 6 may be the last time I even want him to live. It seems inappropriate and sad, as a true Cleveland fan, to not believe in the man at least one last time.

I do think we're going to lose, and I do think he's going to leave this summer, but there's plenty of time to be hateful and bitter when it's all officially over. I know we all look forward to being bitter, but let's just walk into at least one more game as believers of LeBron before we return to our mediocre sports cesspool. He's brought basketball in this city to heights never imagined—no matter how bad and sleepy he looked in Game 5. The least we can do is tell his doubters to Fuck Off one last time before we hate him for life. Right? Who's with me?!

Go Cavs.

The real reason LeBron should stay in Cleveland

Note: This is a Typical Cleveland Fan post. There are two versions of the Typical Cleveland Fan. There's the one before the season who declares the Browns are going to the Super Bowl with Brady Quinn as the QB. And then there's this one. ... Put on a coat, it's going to get bitterly cold in here. Actually, it's just going to get bitter. But put a coat on anyway. This is Cleveland; it's cold out.

I swear I'm not calling out LeBron James. I love him like gray skies love Northeast Ohio. I'd give my sense of smell so that he'd stay here his whole career.

But. Dude. Come on now. You too?

My life has been filled with false sports idols. Albert Belle. Manny Ramirez. Jim Thome. Brady Quinn. Kenny Lofton. Mark Price. Brad Daugherty. CC Sabathia. Bernie Kosar. ... are you seriously going to add your name to this list?

And just what is this list? It appears to be a random list of great players (or semi-terrible in Quinn's case) that I liked for various reasons throughout my life. And yes, that's exactly what it is. Whether I love or hate these guys now is irrelevant. At one time, I believed in all of them and thought they would be the guy that would lead Cleveland into the winner's circle. And all of them failed. Every last one of them. I was like Jacob in "Lost," hoping the next guy would be The One. The guy that would prove everyone wrong. That things could change. He would win. Here. Cleveland.

Nope. None of them.

And I'm only 25! That's just under half of our title drought. People like my uncle have been kicked in the nads more times than bad guys in kids movies.

Our last title was 1964. And who was on the team? Jim Brown. The last TRULY great athlete our city had before LeBron. There were other really awesome ones, like the names listed above, but none like Jim Brown, and none like LeBron. So .... Brown = Title ; Brown = LeBron; LeBron = Title?

Um, right? ... [Rewatching Game 2 against Boston.] ... Uh oh.

Come on! ... I tell myself ... He's now a two-time MVP of the NBA! He is flat out the most gifted basketball player breathing. He imposes his will on teams. And he's STILL playing with a cast of characters that shrink when it matters most. He has to do it all by himself!

I kind of agree with myself there. But here's the unfortunate truth everyone: Because LeBron is the best player on earth, and because he can, does and should impose his will on other teams, the burden is on him to win the title. Period. Heavy is the head that wears the crown; and if a guy tattoos "King" and "Chosen One" on himself, then his head should feel like Shaq after a trip to McDonalds. All TRULY great NBA players win titles, no excuses. Clearly, LeBron has time to win a title for the next decade, (Probably on another team. I mean, right?) but a trend is starting to develop here. This team has had the best record in the league for two straight years, so it's not like everyone on the team is a total stiff. At some point, these failures and sad or pathetic or gut-wrenching losses have to be the fault of LeBron, right? I mean, if he is TRULY great, and if he's coaching the team and not Mike Brown, and if the team has taken on his personality, and if he is their leader, and if they defer to him at all times..... then it's ALL on him. Good, bad or Game-2-level truly pathetic.

If LeBron fails again, which I now believe he will, (Yup, I'm that guy. Sorry. I want to be wrong. Please prove me wrong. Anybody.) put his name on the wall next to Cliff Lee and Brian Sype and Ernest Byner and all the other losers I mentioned. Good guys? Yes. Great athletes? You bet. Legendary Cleveland athletes I'll tell my grand kids about? Absolutely. Ultimately a bunch of losers? Unfortunately, yes.

But my real thesis behind this entire post: If LeBron fails again, then he should definitely re-sign with the Cavs this summer. Not because he owes us a title or because he'll have unfinished business or because his favorite pizza place is here. It's because he's truly one of us. Seriously. Our homegrown savior, born and bred to play basketball better than anyone else, drafted by us, worshiped by us—who ultimately fails in the end. Now THAT is a true Clevelander.

Wow. That was brutally bitter. I apologize. I hope this looks stupid in a month. Go Cavs.