Sure, I "worked" today, but when I woke up, I saw a tweet from Buster Olney from the previous night. "#Indians in on Beltran," he says. My mind races. I run through Twitter for any tidbits I can find. I go to the ESPN.com rumors page. I Google "Indians, Beltran" and get a bunch of stuff from the previous trading deadline, and a few random blogs discussing Olney's tweet. Fuuuuuuck! Something happen! Has my life changed yet? Will it change? Someone answer me!!!
Finally, some of the baseball/Tribe writers I follow on Twitter woke up and started tweeting stuff like "Indians reportedly in on Beltran according to Buster Olney" and got me even more excited. And yes, I was fully aware it added less than nothing to the discussion. But more people! Talking! Indians and Beltran! Sure, the guy is 35 years old and has questionable knees ... and he doesn't play first base .... but he's a guy! A name guy! Can you imagine him in the lineup?? For real, let's do it, like I did from 7:50 a.m. on: Grady/Cabrera/Beltran/Santana/Choo/Pronk/Kipnis/Chisenhall/Brantley(playing 1B, which he can allegedly do). Holy shit! Let me pick my spot out on Euclid for the parade!
Anyway, we know/knew how the story ends. Carlos Beltran signs with the St. Louis Cardinals, and for good measure, out of nowhere, the guy I had already drafted onto the Cleveland Browns this coming April and started at QB, and pegged to save the franchise from this bottomless pit of Cleveland hell, Matt Barkley, decided to forgo millions of dollars and finish his precious USC education. Nice call, Matt. Enjoy the sunshine and endless blowjobs you bleached-blonde nerd. I hope you get AIDS and die.
Fuck. Alls I'm saying is today was underrated for how bad it sucked. Just a random Thursday in the life of a degenerate Cleveland fan, folks. I know I had fun, hope you did too. At least the Browns don't play on Christmas Eve and ruin a family gathering. Oh, wait, what's that?
.....
Merry Christmas, everyone! Go Teams.
No comments:
Post a Comment