I understand the Browns look like a dried turd on the field this year. I understand the D.A. v Quinn battle is less exciting than a conversation on The Hills, and I understand that much of these debacles can somewhat be attributed to Eric Mangini—the dictator coach that fines players for taking water bottles, makes players run into each other at full speed without pads on, ships off star players, chews gum on the sidelines and looks a little too pudgy.
I get all of that. The Browns make me sad, and Mangini makes me mad. But get this—none of that is news. The Browns are always pathetic. We never have a QB that can play. We never have competent leadership. Moreover, it seems like half the league sucks this year. Look at this list of teams:
Buffalo
St. Louis
Oakland
Tennessee
Tampa Bay
Washington
Carolina
Seattle
Jacksonville
Kansas City
Detroit
Seriously, look at that list. It's conceivable the Browns are better than half of those teams. Well, maybe not, but possibly a few. We beat Buffalo, so definitely one. Point being, in the 2009 NFL season, either you are a really good team or a fairly incompetent team. And the Browns, a team that normally sucks, is once again among the dregs.
I mention all of this because it seems every day there is a new article or column that comes out that bashes Eric Mangini. One of my favorite sports writers, Joe Posnanski, calls him out as the worst hire ever. Rolling Stone—the music magazine—compares him to one of the deadliest hurricanes in U.S. history. Non-descript WWE wrestler The Miz says he wants to kick the shit out of him.
What's next? Martha Stewart designs Eric Mangini doormats to walk over? The Ringling Bros clowns in town for the circus mockingly boycott outside the stadium because Mangini is making their shtick look less foolish?
Why are all of these non-football people taking shots at him? What is so incredibly different about Mangini's bad football team in comparison to previous or current terrible football teams? This is what I don't get.
And again, I understand the Mangini era is sadder than Old Yeller thus far, but is he really so bad that he warrants all of this "I HATE THIS GUY!!!" attention? Tom Cable, the Raider's head coach, was literally about to go to jail for punching an assistant coach, and I feel like Mangini has garnered more attention for just generally being unlikable.
The last few years, the New York media treated him in a similar way, and the few Jets fans I've spoken to said they hated him. So, knowing that, why wasn't there this crazy anti-Mangini national sentiment then? It was New York for godsakes. If The Miz is calling him out for being a terrible coach in Cleveland, shouldn't The Rock or Ric Flair be calling him out for sucking ass in New York? Since when do people give a shit if Cleveland has a terrible coach? Should I actually be flattered in some way that so many people are trying to call attention to our plight?
In the end, I think I'm mostly frustrated because this overkill coverage has kicked in my Cleveland Defense Mechanism and made me feel obligated to defend Mangini. I'm saying things like, "He's got nothing to work with!" and "You turn around a four-win team in one year with two crappy QBs!" and "He's instilling discipline! They are committing fewer penalties!" and "No one has staph infection this year!" (credit Rob Fulop).
All I'm trying to say is there are bad coaches in the NFL. There are failed systems in the NFL. There are bad trades in sports. And, as always, there is a bad football team in Cleveland.
We get it.
Go Browns.
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