Cleveland Sports Hate Hall of Fame

From a Cleveland fan perspective, 2010 might have been the worst year ever. Seriously, all of our teams stunk, we blew our chance at a championship and we lost No.6 to Miami. What's next? Bob Feller dying? ... See! 2010 was terrible! The real problem is it's just the beginning. 2011 will suck even more. That's a fact.

So where do we go from here (other than the I-480 bridge)? My advice is to pour yourself a nice tall draft of Bitterness and project all of your hate onto everything and everyone. I'll get the festivities kicked off in the new year by debuting The Cleveland Sports Hate Hall of Fame!

I usually Power Rank all of the people and teams I currently hate, but let's forget about power rankings. By nature, a power ranking is fleeting. It's hate of the moment. What we need is something more substantial. Something that lasts. Something that says: "We really fucking hate this guy - for life."

We need a Hate Hall of Fame, and we need this for many reasons, only one of which is to answer the question, would Braylon Edwards be a first-ballot Hall of Famer?

So, let's create this Hall of Fame right now. Here are the immediate issues to consider:

• Should players be nominated for leaving for more money? I'm very inclined to say yes to this question because I usually hate guys when this happens. But is it hate worthy of the Hall of Fame? For example, I hated Manny Ramirez more than any athlete for years. As the years have passed, however, I feel most of that fading away. I kind of like him again. I even lifted my fantasy sports ban and picked him to be on my team two years ago. In 2001, I would have voted him into the Hall, and now, I don't think I would. Is it just because it's Manny and he's a doofus? I still hate Thome. And I've started to love Albert Belle again. A solution here may be a mandatory grace period for Guy Leaving for More Money to make sure the hate is the real thing.

• Should there be different wings for players we hate on our own teams vs. those on other teams? I don't think so. If a guy's only sin is sucking on our team, even if it is Casey Blake, he probably does not deserve a nomination. There is clearly a loophole in this rule (see: Mesa, Jose).

• Should there be spots for guys like Kendrick Perkins? The guys you just want to punch in the face but not for any real valid reason? I'm leaning toward those types of guys having an exhibit within the hall, but those guys need a long career of craving a punch to the face before going up for nomination. One Brady-Anderson-50-homer year of needing to be punched in the face isn't enough.

• Do ALL guys that dominate our teams make it in? Michael Jordan is one of the great examples of a dude dominating Cleveland teams, but I don't sense a great amount of hatred for him. Dude dominated every team. It's not like we were special. Does that lessen the hate? It's kind of the Wes Mantooth exception ("I pure, straight hate you [Ron Burgundy] .... but god damn it do I respect you.")

Depending on your age and your perspective on the issues I've raised, your HOF may look a little different. So, if you have issues — tough. Get your own blog. Here are the 19 guys I'm inducting the inaugural class of the Cleveland Sports Hate Hall of Fame

• Art Modell - Seriously, you moved the F'ing Browns out of Cleveland? I don't care how many reasons you had and how many years pass, it's still shocking. I will gladly piss on your grave when you die. [Highest vote total]
• That Other Player in Miami - No grace period. I hate you for life.
• John Elway - Death to you, those 98 yards and your gigantic gums.
• Jose Mesa - Saves records are fun for a couple days or so, but blown saves in Game 7 last a lifetime. I know Tony Fernandez is perhaps more to blame here, but his home run pushed us to the World Series, and he's a good dude. He gets a pass. Sorry. This is your legacy. You fail The Name Test of the hall. When your name is said, fans cringe. That's important.
• Carlos Boozer - Stabbed a blind man in the back.
• Bill Belichick - Glad you got ALLLLLL the kinks out of your coaching style here in Cleveland before you figured it out and won 3 Super Bowls. Get cancer and die.
• CC Sabathia - Much of this comes from his idiotic comments since joining NY. Comments are a big factor in Hall consideration. It's much more lasting than simply joining another team and fading away. You're a douchebag CC. May your next jumbo chili dog be your last.
• Frank Lane - Infamously traded Rocky Colavito and other great Indians players. And there aren't built-in excuses to fall back on like the small market or inequities in the game. His moves are so legendarily despised that he has to be in the Hall of Fame.
• Michael Jordan - If for no other reason than because we have to see The Shot every day for the rest of our lives. He was legitimately the only thing standing in between those Cavs team and a title, as well. What luck.
• Craig Counsel - I know Renteria got the hit ... but seeing this little puke running and jumping and scoring the run is etched in my brain for good.
• Jim Thome - Here's what separates Thome from Belle and Ramirez in my eyes - Dude acted like he was different. He constantly said how he'd be here for life and the entire city bought it. The Tribe front office even offered him a ton of money (and a statue in front of the Jake among other perks), but it wasn't enough. It actually turned out to be a good thing because we couldn't afford that contract looking back, but still ... F him.
• Ted Stepien - An owner who made moves so dumb the NBA had to step in and stop him, and create a rule (that is named after him) to prevent him from making more dumb moves. When people wander the streets aimlessly and say things like "...only in Cleveland..." this is what they mean.
• Braylon Edwards - I don't think this is premature. I think Edwards gets inducted because of his failures here and his rhetoric afterward. I'm also heaping the last 10 years of Browns futility (Tim Couch, Gerard Warren, Butch Davis, Willie Green, Ben Gay, etc.) on him.
• Ray Lewis - We need a Raven for the inaugural draft class, and he is the ultimate Raven.
  

The Steelers Ward: (I think standout Steelers players deserve their own special section ... like how child molestors are quarantined in their own section in prison.)

• Ben Roethlisberger - There's something hateable about all Steelers players, obviously, but Ben really forced his way into this list. [rimshot]
• Hines Ward - Dude epitomized the Steelers in this last era of dominance. He gets in the Punch in the Face exhibit because of that smile, but his consistent excellent play gets him inducted into the Hall.
• Lynn Swann - Never saw the guy play, so I have no smarmy comment. But he can eat shit for his sideline reporting.
• Franco Harris - You don't need to have lived to see the guy play to know his legacy of being a bitch.
• Bill Cowher - A traitor of the highest order. Had Browns in his blood and then went to Pittsburgh and turned them back into an annual contender. Burn in hell

There it is. Your inaugural Hate Hall of Fame inductees. But believe me, there are many, many more candidates. And I reserve the right to induct them whenever I please. With baseball season almost here (when the Browns season ends, it's officially baseball season in my mind ... the Cavs aren't helping with that either), the first person on notice is Cliff Lee. I bet he's pissed.

Go Teams.