I hate LeBron James, but I'm not a racist (I swear!)

I'm a fan boy. Through and through. For example, I love Metallica. They can put out shitty albums and I will say "they were trying something different." They can attack everyone's beloved Napster and I will say "hey man, shouldn't musicians earn money for their art?" And so on.

This is the intro I'm using to explain why I'm not a racist. (Like I said, it's just the intro, give me a minute.) I'm a Cleveland sports fan to an absurd degree. I live, breath and snort Cleveland sports. I'm a fan boy for Cleveland sports the same way I'm a fan boy for Metallica or Calvin and Hobbes comic strips or sandwiches. It's just in me and any attempt to besmirch these things will irritate me.

This is why I hate LeBron James.

I just attended The Derision, a debate with Scott Raab, author of The Whore of Akron, and Jimi Izrael, Ohio City Writers board member, about the legacy of of LeBron. And it was awesome. Raab is one of my favorite writers because of his style, his candor and his love of Cleveland. I had never read anything from Izrael, but he was great in this forum as well. They both made some great, insightful and hilarious points. However, one common issue was brought up by Izrael and by people in the audience: White Cleveland fans are mad because this black man made good for himself. He was not "ours." We should get over it or at least see it for what it is.

Clearly, I do not agree with this concept and believe people should see my hatred for what it is.

I do not deny any of the racial implications of the WE HATE LEBRON campaign of Northeast Ohio, most notably the white male fans. Some of the comments and tweets I've seen make me cringe. And even those that don't no doubt have hints of our sensitive (read: appalling) racial past (and present, obviously). But I also do not deny my own visceral impulses, and these impulses make me hate LeBron - regardless of skin color. It's usually a fairly naive person that makes such a claim, but such hypocrisy usually exists in real life, and my hatred of LeBron doesn't exist in real life.

In 2002, after Jim Thome left for more money, I fucking hated Jim Thome. When he came back with the White Sox in whatever year that was (I'm still half-drunk, look it up yourself) I booed the fuck out of him. So did the rest of the crowd. Thome booing stayed constant for basically nine years until he came back to wear the Cleveland colors again this year. I bought into the "Thome comes Homey!" narrative, but now that he is on the Phillies again, he can fuck off. Speaking of pieces of shit, I submit the name Cliff Lee. Hell, most Cleveland fans probably don't even hate Cliff Lee because he was "traded" and didn't "leave us." Bull shit. Fuck Cliff Lee. I will never forget that he sat in a Buffalo dugout while the Tribe went into the playoffs in 2007 and had a chance at a title. And then all of a sudden he gets good again, with the help of our coaching, won a Cy Young, and it was all but assured he'd never wear the Cleveland colors again - the only colors that really matter.

And that was hatred for just Jim Thome and Cliff Lee!! Hall of Famers? Yes. Assholes? No doubt. Saviors of the city who will make us winners for the first time since 1964? Fuck no!

My hatred of LeBron might be hashtagged a #whiteguyproblem, but that makes me sad. I thought all races and creeds bonded over irrational sports fanaticism. If our teams do poorly, we get upset; if someone leaves our teams when we do not want them to, we will hate them. It's very black and white, but it's not about blacks and whites. Right?

And really, it's not about real hate, if we're being really real. Some of the hatred of a LeBron James or an Albert Belle (remember him? How forgetful people are about the many, many, many, many others we've booed and hated for purely superficial, sports reasons) might be racial for some fans, but for most normal fans (a term used in the loosest of definitions), these are all just assholes that left Cleveland. And we hate them in that lovable sports way that causes us to burn their jerseys and shout obscenities when they walk by.

In sports, many of these people happen to be minorities. Because of this athletic superiority, the sophomoric insults hurled their way by the mostly white fans seem more despicable than they are. And maybe they are that despicable. But mostly, I think, these are just the rantings of crazed Cleveland fans who would scream at a lifeless tree if it had anti-Browns propaganda written on it. And we think the Browns suck! That's how fucked up our thinking is! It's unfair to make most of our comments of love or hatred race-based because so little of it is based on any rational thought to begin with. To make it racist gives it too much credit, in a way.

Anyway, like I said, I'm half drunk and I hate LeBron and I'm not racist - I swear. These are the only points I'm trying to make on this Monday night at midnight before work in the morning.

Go Raab. Go Izrael. Go Happy Dog. Go Teams.