December 2, 2010

I was sitting in my living room, listening to the TV, checking my e-mail and conversing with Hannah before trying to do some work. Then, out of nowhere:

"I really think tomorrow night is the most important Cleveland sporting event of my lifetime," I said, kind of to Hannah, but mostly just to the universe at-large.

Hannah questioned me on this statement. Sure, the whole RETURN OF LEBRON!!! storyline is interesting and emotional and all that, but is it more important than all of those other "Most Important Games Ever" that I've watched and been let down by?

Yes. Game 7s, AFC championship games, NBA playoffs — those are all experiences had by any number of teams every year. The hunt for a title is definitely thrilling, but it's not entirely unique. December 2, 2010, is unique. It's our moment and ours alone.

Just what is this moment? It's a moment born entirely from The Decision — all of the failure, embarrassment and bitterness that was wrapped into that TV show. Those aren't new feelings around these parts, but The Decision re-imagined all of them. Gave them new life. December 2, 2010, is the fallout of that moment.

December 2, 2010, is the most important game in my lifetime because, at it's core, it encapsulates the narrative of Cleveland. Here's the scrappy team that was left behind versus the hyped-up, super team, starring the guy that pulled our pants down in front of the whole school. America's favorite punch line versus America. Cleveland never gets a chance to make fun of another city's polluted river; Cleveland never gets the chance to look down on other cities that rank on "Most Miserable Places on Earth" lists. December 2, 2010, is a chance to do that, I think.

December 2, 2010, can be about us. And I'm not saying "this is our moment to show everyone how great and classy we are!" No. F that. Cleveland has a chance to make someone else a punchline; to make someone else look like a buffoon. We can get the last laugh for a change!

I honestly hope a crazy fan attacks LeBron tomorrow. I hope the national media gets another reason to fart on Cleveland's head. Good. That's how it should be. Screw them. December 2, 2010, isn't about playing nice or making friends. This is Cleveland's unique moment in time, and the most important sporting event of my lifetime — with the nation watching — so why waste it by merely booing and cheering? Let's go set a fucking river on fire! And then throw LeBron in it!! Who's with me?!

Go Cavs!

Early Cavs analysis

I was watching a rerun of one of my all-time favorite shows, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, today. It was the episode where Will joins the Bel Air prep basketball team for the first time. Previously, Bel Air prep was the worst in the league. It's just a bunch of shrimpy rich white boys and Carlton Banks. But now they have Will, who is awesome. Anyway, in one scene, the coach is diagramming the plays and it goes like this:

Coach: "OK, the guard passes it to the center, the center passes it to the forward, who passes it to the guard. What does he do?"

Player: "Pass it to Will?"

Coach: "Yes! Ok, next play. The center in-bounds the ball to the guard who passes it to the forward who passes it back to the guard who...."

Player: "Passes it to Will!"

Coach: "Excellent!"

As a Cavs fan, this might sound like a familiar strategy. It's the same gameplan the Cavs have had for....how long has Lebron been in the league again? That long. And Tuesday night gave me no indication that this year will be any different.

I know, that's definitely a bit of an overreaction to an opening loss to possibly the best team in basketball this season, but it's also level-headed realism.

Two things: 1) It's definitely early. I get this. The team needs much more time to gel and feel each other out. 2) Having everyone pass it to LeBron isn't a terrible strategy—especially since it has gotten the Cavs deep into the playoffs multiple times.

Having said that, I'm worried this team, gelling or no gelling, is going to be exactly like all of these other teams we've watched. Again, don't get me wrong. This Cavs team is really really good, and I appreciate that they are really really good. The addition of Shaq and Jamario Moon and Anthony Parker does give this team certain role players it needed. But I can't get past the term I used in that sentence: role players. This team, in this early, early stage, looks to me like it always does—LeBron and a bunch of role players.

LeBron and a bunch of role players definitely makes for a really really good team. However, Cleveland fans need this team to be great. There's a difference between really really good and great, and I don't think these new additions necessarily make up that difference.

Once again I will say, yes, I know it is early. The team played one game. I don't need to be reminded of this all of the time. I know we started 1-2 last year and finished with the one seed. And I know the Celtics are a great team, and their defense gives everyone trouble. But, some of us are forgetting that all of these things are reasons why the Cavs didn't go to the Finals last year, and before I'm going to really believe this team is the best in the league, they have to show me they are different than last year. And it's hard to convince me that the team is different than last year when, basically, the roster is once again LeBron and a bunch of stiffs. Talk about Shaq all you want, but he's a fat 38-year-old. Talk all you want about Mo Williams, but I don't think I've seen him since the regular season last year. Is he still alive? And the crazy thing is, he might not be alive because one of teammates is riding around on motorcycles with more firepower than the Unabomber.

In the end, this team is capable of doing all of this. There's no need for I-told-you-so's if they do win it all—mostly because I'll be incoherently drunk for three months. But the point is, that's the barometer. Championship. The grading and analysis of how this team is playing is beyond an average team or even a really really good team. I'm grading them against great teams. And they played one Tuesday night, at home. And they failed.

So all of the it's-early-they-are-gelling-we-got-better-in-the-offseason-Delonte-will-be-OK talk is fine, and I get it. But I need to see it.